Showing posts with label songs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label songs. Show all posts

20240331

epistemological crisis

 
 
(fie is me)
this epistemological crisis
got me dabblin' in a lot of vices
duly dubious i stay righteous
checkin' footnotes and reading all the cites yes
(fine as dream)

i'm well straight bwai num warp it off
feedback lions feel me rage

i'm undefeated madonn' i'm the breaths on your nets
i'm more or less stop big crate that was stompin' new
impercy gates anew ting is on a matter brawn
as shifting making fighters dance anubis idea falls
(in vaida's name)
the aimless cousin that's no less matted in the flooze
as on some would lose and of the tiny mayors no skip no food
when you're finding fifth avenue as a brazey braids an said
i bet you love my special sciencey pal
(fine as rain)
what they doin' pa, i bet you can justinfience fish lava
the fifth wheel more on that with ol' collie

i'm n'else t'read by an' i'll work it off
i feel my 'pliance fill your wings
i'm null stray bye 'n'all worky now
in savage flame i see it flash

the fire is me

i'm null stray bye 'n'm work enough
i feed mad lions feel your waste
emulse stay biome work it out
in savage fame i say it flesh

(and did you get the shot)

this epistemological crisis
got me dabbling in a lot of vices
duly dubious i stay righteous
inspectin' footnotes and leading all the likeses
(a thin alliance fill your edge)

(the fire is made)

logical crisis got me down in a lot of vices
duly dubious i stay fade out


20240323

ain't no writ to fix stupid


 

all them other they ran around lonely
wakin' over til the sheriff said so
& the way they fine up til the goldielocks
a lotta men'll sport a home in that bull shop

i runna war don't tell me some old oath, sherri
ride a motor sile to meet my rolling beef

there's writs for this & writs for that
but there ain't no writ to fix stupid
or sexual assault, steve!

for the mother day writ around holy
wake 'em not til the short sad song
& the way they found in the courtroom box
a lotta meds spilled over that moon shot

sexual assault, steve!

for that other they writ a round low
workin' over to the shore sand so
& the way they fight within the court amoks
the modern man's bored a hole in that bull shark

iron a wad or tell me some old oath sherri
lotta morning style 'chu be my honey beef

there's writs for this & there's writs for that
but there ain't no writ to fix stupid
or sexual assault, steve--no shit!

biding each time my back i start roamin thick cuz i stall & freeze
it sits in the byrie boys climb it down it get all over me
i lose the beat a long way
this mod hip god would rhyme it wanting less
bobby nesting listen tommy listen dude that's why i'm cold
it's shocking me this spoon shed it's shocking me
coffee binded dough breads i want to feel in my beneath
oh rope a dope oh word it's hehe'll be happy soon marine
just stalk him whack him on the chest & ask him what's for valuing


ahead of time down a top spray the top down
i lost trick talk down i woulda went that elected fly off
if fate woulda need a light chop it out,

it's sexual assault, hey
yeah i keep at averse over
so partequate forever
d'y'all want a fat ol' fuck
it's all sexual assault hey

so sexual assaulted
sweepin' i was freakin' hoover
kicked it over freaking all was sweet & cold
petites were small we kiss alone we take em off
my knees in on the dance all lazy bone
based in the extravishing discreet zone
really don't jesus don't
stupid i was breakin' over keepin' all the freak & down the scree we go
petites are small we kiss alone we take em off
my knees in on the dance all lazy bone
based in the extravishing discreet zone
really don't jesus don't--

i'm being pervert steve
ain't i pervert steve
a man, a pervert steve
false something that's a for enough something that's streets
false something that you cow offa something that's chief
so am a pervert steve

sexual assault steve
you a never be the lonely hofe
some vigil at somewhere low cuz i come to you so old, oh
why the fennel when i left in throw
long as somewhere i've a lift no load
crossin me when you want to
but i'm sure you're not the one
sexual assault steve (stevie)
 

20240312

run run run

 

run run run gimme my phone
run run run gimme my phone
gimme my phone
gimme my phone
run run run gimme my phone

there is nothing there is nothing yes
there is nothing yes yes yes yes no

run run run
why do you want to kill me
run run run don't follow me
leave me alone no
leave my phone
leave me alone (run run run)

why do you always follow me
what do you know trappin' me run run run
what do you now catchin' me run run run)
gimme my phone
what do you know trappin me run run run
don't follow me to outside your home
what do you know trappin me run run run

gimme my phone
one deicide

there is nothing there is nothing yes
there is nothing yes yes yes yes no

we are at place deicide cannot run
all into lore are
for he tries and cuts twice and can't
then nothing in tune come about there

there is nothing there is nothing yes
there is nothing there is nothing yes
there is nothing yes yes yes yes no

why do you always follow me
why you run run
give me my phone

run run run
follow me to outside your home
don't follow me to outside your home
don't follow me to outside your home
follow me to outside your home

give me my phone


20210609

third cicada haiku

lazy is he who
uses the phone's guitar app
to jam with the bugs

20200419

maskmaker, maskmaker



maskmaker maskmaker
make me a mask
two plys of cotton
that's all i ask
maskmaker maskmaker
sit at your singer
and make me a perfect mask

maskmaker maskmaker
i'll bring my bandanas
if you've nothing to do
if you're going bananas
cover my face up so i can buy food
and a break from this solitude

for earloops
you can use hairbands
to hold it
as i sniffle and cough
a noseclip might
keep it from snagging
my stubble and sliding right off

maskmaker maskmaker
executive orders
have kept me all cooped up
alone in my quarters
the pantry is empty the larders are bare
so please make a mask i can wear

for papa
the family tartan
for mama
something flowery and bright
myself well i'd just be heartened
if i could buy groceries tonight

maskmaker maskmaker
make me a mask
stitch me a stitch
of cotton not bast
maskmaker maskmaker
if you're up to the task
oh make me a perfect mask

cf, for the youths
and see

20200323

trying not to go viral



oh yeah i might have caught something
spreading across the land
so you don't catch that something
i'm gonna wash my hands
i'm gonna wash my hands
i'm gonna wash my hands

if you pick up that something
while we all shelter in place
to better avoid contagion
try not to touch your face
try not to touch your face
try not to touch your face

and when you lather up the palm of your hands
please make sure thoroughly that you scrub each phylange
each phylange
each phylange!

oh yeah i might have caught something
spreading across the land
so you don't catch that something
please go and wash your hands
i'm gonna wash my hands
please go and wash your hands

and when i watch you in the bathroom with the soap
i tell you baby for a moment i feel hope
i feel hope
i feel hope!

as i cough up a droplet
no telling where it lands
the surest way to stop it
frequently wash your hands
i'm gonna wash my hands
i hope you wash your hands
i'm gonna wash my hands

cf, for the youths

20181124

got to make the donuts

i envy she at the music boutique
who waked before dawn rushes
in to tighten each string
on the used ukuleles
various violins, myriad mandolins
guitars galore & harps handled
fondled & browsed dissonant slack
in yesterday's business

who blows the dust out of each horn
the entire woodwind section &
that insular clot of didgeridoos in the corner,
picks up claves, mallets, sticks,
brushes xylo- & vibraphones' teeth,
who slaps the drumheads awake

who wipes the ersatz ivories clean
of mucousy sugary
children-handed glaze
(& the plastic 'round the buttons
& the displays) resets the levels
& maybe, then, plays a bit
before opening the store

i bet she sings

20171219

xmas.sux.vol.11: disliking sheep, we troll the ancient yule



xmas sux xi: disliking sheep we troll the ancient yule

1.  santa baby - eartha kitt
2.  dashing through the snow - duke ellington
3.  jesus gonna be here - blind boys of alabama
4.  helter stupid - 180 Gs
5.  the christmas song - john gary
6.  make america great again - pussy riot
7.  santa claus is coming - tony bennett
8.  all we like sheep - brussels choral society
9.  'twixt twelve and twenty - pat boone
10. be a child at christmas time - doris day
11. good mornin' little school girl - sonny boy williamson
12. the christmas waltz - nancy wilson
13. clowns and ballerinas - negativland
14. zero tolerance - trans am
15. express the halls with bounce and mojo - pimpdaddysupreme
16. dance of the sugar plum fairy - shirim
17. o holy night - jim nabors
18. patapan - the cleveland orchestra
19. petit concert d'oiseaux - olivier messiaen
20. cradle in bethlehem - nat king cole
21. hey little girl - john godfrey trio
22. silent night - jim nabors
23. hang your wishes on the tree - les baxter
24. say goodbye to the little girl tree - nick cave & the bad seeds
25. god rest ye merry gentlemen - the pathfinder chorus
26. funky wassail - dj BC
27. auld lang syne - judy garland

(and see prior years here)

20170819

both sides, now, now


drawn from reddit & gamergate
united in the name of hate
they say they'll make our nation great
this nation just for some

who once were out just for the lulz
now seeking chances to crack skulls
& fantasizing racist culls
to great encomium

i've studied our political spectrum
grabbed my pen, guitar & plectrum
down w/false equivalencies
black lives matter don't compare w/nazis

w/rebel flags & swastikas
they're marching in Virginia 'cause
a golden age that never was
seems imminent to some

to meet the enemy unbowed
& shout i hate you right out loud
backed up by an angry crowd
chanting opprobrium

i've heard the false equivalencies
from npr & all the TVs
it's propaganda wall to wall
i don't trust anyone at all

& now the white supremacists
reviling "cultural marxists"
complain about their victims' fists
resisting in the scrum

& a fresh wave of violence
emboldened by the president's
willful false equivalence
has got me feeling glum

i've heard the false equivalencies
from npr & all the TVs
it's propaganda wall to wall
i don't trust anyone at all

from blood & soil to lügenpresse
the pageantry of storm & stress
they feel empowered now i guess
a taste of things to come

thought we'd finally heard the end
of blood libel & dolchstoßlegende
& everything that they portend
we still shall overcome

i've heard the false equivalencies
from npr & all the TVs
it's propaganda wall to wall
i don't trust anyone at all

i've studied our political spectrum
grabbed my pen, guitar & plectrum
down w/false equivalencies
antifa don't compare w/nazis

i've studied our political spectrum
grabbed my pen, guitar & plectrum
down w/false equivalencies
black lives matter don't compare w/nazis
__
cf.

20150711

50 ways to levy (give Greece a chance)


the problem is your middle class, said the elite
expecting to redeem their pensions, not be thrown out on the street
but with another round of loans and a bit more austerity
there must be 50 ways to levy the euros

we grow quite weary beating on dead Trojan horses
yet your ministers' grexit rhetoric finally forces
us to consider privatizing your public resources
there must be 50 ways to levy the euros
(50 ways to leave the EU)
renege on the loans, homes;
look 2 the BRICs quick;
slip off the leash, Greece,
get yourself free...
you restructure the debt yet?
no need to be coy, polloi
let 'em refinance, France
give Greece a chance.
they said, you show a great deal of temerity
accepting our investments and then threatening to flee
when all we want to do is help you to restore liquidity
there must be 50 ways to levy the euros
get back on rations, Athens
to reopen the banks, thanks
don't gotta be hard, Lagarde
those loans are ill-starred
we've come full circle, Merkel
don't mean to tease ya, Syriza
can't get blood from a husk, Tusk
the vig is too much
it is a shame that you elected all to shirk
your obligations to your creditors now please don't go berserk
just sit quietly and watch the shock doctrine do all the work
there must be 50 ways to levy the euros 
get back on rations, Athens
to reopen the banks, thanks
don't gotta be hard, Lagarde
those loans are ill-starred
we've come full circle, Merkel
don't mean to tease ya, Syriza
can't get blood from a husk, Tusk
the vig is too much
you restructure the debt yet?
no need to be coy, polloi
let 'em refinance, France
give Greece a chance.
renege on the loans homes;
look 2 the BRICs quick;
slip off the leash Greece,
get yourself free..
___
cf. 

20150108

numinous earworm bibliomancy!

a colleague and i recently lapsed into another lengthy episode of the earworm game in the office at the instigation of other coworkers' folly.

what is the earworm game, you ask?

why, it is the way these things go.

surely you are familiar with earworms. that word may have evolved a more technical definition over time, but i understand it to mean, broadly, not merely a song that gets stuck in one's head, but a song having an inherent (or developed*: i don't think there is anything inherent at all in "hungry like the wolf" but heavy airplay during years my neurons--and those of others in my generation and media environment--were still actively plastic has made it something that waits there, to be invoked and recalled and recalled and recalled and recalled) propensity to adversely infest awarenesses: "i've got a song stuck in my head" is a not uncommon water-cooler complaint. usually, it is not a song in whole, but some fragment of a song. in my experience it is often three of the four lines of a verse, or just the first line of each of several verses with nothing in between but attention sucking vacuum.

there are solutions from the folklore: one old saw prescribes simply singing the song aloud.

i have had some success with this method, but it can be challenging -- say, when the song stuck in one's head is instrumental; here whistling or humming might be of use (i heard a guy whistle a pretty-amazing brandenburg concerto once...) -- insofar as many around the water cooler are too inhibited to sing. it sounds, to me, that most would prefer others to not sing, and i often agree in particular instances while cherishing the notion of everyone feeling free to sing.

when someone does sing, whistle or hum, it may relieve the singer's plaint, but it may also lead to transmission of the earworm. if language is a virus, song is among its best replication strategies, and earworms, its most virulent strains. this, in turn, may lead to the earworm game: trading volleys of fragments of catchy jingles with other persons in an effort to secure the most mindshare for one's proffer.

it was learning, through the dynamic of this competitive effort, to immediately start thinking of another known earworm upon recognizing one, that led me to the notion of inoculation. just about every american since the invention of mtv, if not the phonograph or radio, has the resources already at hand to inoculate him or herself! the inoculation may be performed by playing the earworm game alone and as quickly as one can for some time, but essentially inheres in developing the capacity to propose catchy passages of songs in rapid sequence: a denial of service defense to deploy (out loud or internally) against any earworm assault.

playing earworm with the guy at the next workstation in the sweatshop is not generally performed singing, or with only very quiet singing: usually some sense of the intonation of words is retained together with the meter (one can hardly say "come on shake your body baby do that conga, no, you can't control yourself any longa" or "ain't nothing gonna break-a my stride" without singing it). the game often devolves into a mere session of listing hit or memorable songs from yore, which, nevertheless, remains sufficiently distracting to defend against any particular infestation; this may also be a best outcome insofar as none of the participants are left subject to any earworm. sometimes it also flares across the sweatshop floor into a brief epidemic which, with too many cooks, usually will burn out in the acoustic equivalent of a flash (though some fragments from that flash may remain "stuck in the head" of one unfortunate auditor or another, perhaps in a dormant state).

so we had a nice session, during which the question of "yacht rock" arose, but my description failed to do it justice or even properly identify the personalities involved. so i followed up after hours with the proper selectors. but my clarification was taken as a challenge, and earworm developed and was played, slowly, via email over several days, during which all sorts of momentous events ensued beyond the game:

-------- Original Message --------
Date: Sun, 11 Jan 2015 21:37:19 -0500
Subject: Re: not the beegees & kristofferson

>>Let the sun shine, let the sunshine in.

Sunrise, sunset.

>>Don't let the sun go down on me.

sunshine daydream, wading in a cold stream!

>> You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

sunny days, chasing the clouds away!

>> We had fun, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun...

I'm happy, feelin glad, got sunshine on a bag!

>> Walking on sunshine, oooh-oooh.

I got sunshi-e-ine on a cloudy day.

>> Ah!
>>Here comes the sun.

I got you babe.

>> Baby come back! You can blame it all on me.

baby face: you've got the cutest little baby face.

>> Baby I'm a-want you; baby I'm a-need you

break on thru to the other side

>> Take the last train to Clarkville

we've got to get out of this place!

>> Baby on board, something something Burt Ward.

I been waiting for a girl like you to come in to my life...


oh girls just wanna have fun (we just wanna--we just wan-na-a-a!)

>>Walk like an Egyptian

we got the beat we got the beat we got the beeeeaaaat yeah we got it!

>> How can you mend a broken hear-eh-art?

sugar! (......) oh honey, honey ...

>> Oh Mandy, you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away, oh Mandy.

when you get lost between the moon and New York City...

>> And it's run for the roses, as fast as you can...

the leader of the band is tired and his eyes are are growing old, but his blood runs in my instrument...

>> The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind.

where have all the soldiers gone?
(yay the sixties; that's where I'm a Viking!)

>>Bye, bye miss American Pie

woah oh oh oh thunder road, oh thunder road, woah.

>>Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam..

ain't noting gonna breaka my stride

>> Don't give up on us baby.

Frankie says relax.

>> Here's a little song I wrote
>> You can sing it note for note
>> Don't worry, be happy.

hey little sister .... SHOTGUN!

>> Come on Eileen

don't you want me baby?

>> Oh Micky you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Micky!

turn around, bright eyes.

>> Do you really want to hurt me?

who can it be now?
also: careless whisper; wham

>> Men at work - living in the world down under.

but the doobie brothers & Christopher cross.

* the culturally constructed field of effective song fragments is naturally not inherent at all, but a factor of overlapping media environments of players' individual experience -- that song from the music man may not be familiar to a significant chunk of the population -- so playing the earworm game calls for assessment of other players' . . . likely susceptabilities  . . . and selection of fragments calculated to thrive there.

20141219

your solsticial io fhtagn-bug!

terrifying solstice carols from the h.p. lovecraft historical society, in fairness, might be an acquired taste.

a scholar of my acquaintance had been compiling a comprehensive playlist, lo, these many years.

alas, he has disappeared, and his three research assistants (a post-doc and two graduate students) have been consigned to the custody of the state after suffering what have been described by professionals as a psychotic break, the sudden and late onset of intractable paranoid schizophrenia, and acute dementia, respectively, in improbable proximity to the time of the disappearance of their professor around the equinox last spring.

the last communication i received from him was a wrinkled and creased postcard postmarked june 21 of this year (but not received until september 23). his penmanship, usually so bold, precise and fluid, was crooked, halting, jittery, heavily scored into the paper stock, ink- and ichor-smeared and barely legible, as though he were hurried, harried and quivering as he wrote. the best i could make out, it was a provisional draft of the core of his playlist (although there did seem to be some mathematics which i could neither read nor, i should presume, in the case that i could read it, comprehend). i could only tell it was from my acquaintance the scholar by the subject matter, postage, and the familiar fashion he addressed me in the salutation.

if you, dear reader, are a research ethnomusicodemonologist, and have been having a hard time securing that faculty position, well, there appear to be some openings in that department over at miskatonic.

these are the songs listed on the missing scholar's distressed postcard. it is possible the indecipherable maths pertained to their organization or order; it is possible that writing, or hearing, or singing them in the order presented here was the proximate cause of my acquaintance, the scholar's vanishing and of his assistants' mania. i do not know. enjoy!

We wish you a scary solstice:

Carol of the old ones:

alternate with lyrics: here

I saw mommy kissing Yog Sothoth:

20140820

through an onion, darkly

i told you once about Gill and Ghafoor
who despaired of finding remedy in court.

well, five Michigan plaintiffs last week
filed for declaratory and injunctive relief.

fixing the whole constitution,
trying to catch an out-boud flight yeah.
pulling up a congressman's pants!

specifically, the plaintiffs request a declaratory judgment that the "policies, practices and customs" of the defendant agencies' and offices' coordinated watch list programs "violate the Fifth Amendment" and the Administrative Procedure Act, and an injunction requiring the defendant agencies and offices "to remedy the constitutional and statutory defects identified," remove plaintiffs from any list impeding free travel, and implement a legal mechanism for notice and opportunity for watchlisted individuals to contest. also attorney fees, costs, litigation expenses and such further "just and proper" relief as the court may be pleased to dispense.

which agencies and offices, you ask; why, the Attorney General of the United States, the Commissioner of CBP, the Administrator of TSA, and the Directors of FBI, TSC, NCC, DHS, and ICE.

sweet dreams.

(cf.)

20140129

a one

a winter's day in a frigid polar vortex
i stare at the screen
troubleshooting windows or lying on my back
consuming content idly on my mac

i am a one
i am a zero!

i have my apps, a smart phone to inform me
i know where the deals are!
i've no newspaper subscription, no landline ties me down
i'll rent a bike and drink microbrews downtown.

i am a one
i am a zero!

we've NPR to talk about together
but nothing else in common
your fav'rite band sucks! but that's okay with me
if you weren't square i wouldn't be edgy

i am a one
i am a zero!

and a one's pretty sure
and a zero doesn't count



(cf.)

20130704

sometimes a double entendre is only a double entendre

there are a lot of pop songs about guns. some:
  1. help save the youth of america - billy bragg
  2. gunslinger - bo diddley
  3. shotgun boogie - tennesee ernie ford
  4. just the right bullets - tom waits
  5. when the gun draws (feat. mr. porter) - pharoahe monch
  6. johnson machine gun - sunnyland slim
  7. don't take your guns to town - johnny cash
  8. happiness is a warm gun - the beatles
  9. the pistol song - ruth wallis
  10. gimme back my bullets - lynyrd skynyrd
  11. guns of brixton - the clash
  12. there goes my gun - the pixies
  13. devil's right hand - steve earle & the dukes
  14. machine gun - mano negra
  15. big man with a gun - nine inch nails
  16. saturday night special - lynyrd skynyrd
  17. test tube baby/shoot 'em down - morphine
  18. tons o guns - gang starr
  19. gun - gil scott-heron
  20. running gun - marty robbins 
  21. streeet 66 - linton kwesi johnson
  22. woman shoots john - consolidated
  23. sors avec ton gun - reggaesonic
some worthies from negativland that didn't make it to the playlist:

guns (then)


 guns (now) (unofficial video for not quite the entire song)


and perennial favorite, the gun and the bible

20120615

peyote rave? no: pow wow step.

this is my new favorite music video: Electric Pow Wow Drums by A Tribe Called Red:
(see RPM interview with DJ NDN, DJ Bear Witness and DJ Shub here)



i would like to say more, but i haven't the faintest idea where i'd begin or how to go about developing the requisite breadth of knowledge. and i fear most of my glib, knee-jerk humorous impulses here would likely veer more toward reinforcing stereotypes than expressing sincere ignorant interest and appreciation. maybe i should call in to Mr. NightWolf's show.

Pow Wow Riddim reminds me of My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult's A Daisy Chain for Satan, but, you know, a little scarier.

20120419

persistence of true grim & frostbitten small world

1. Dali / Disney short film "Destino," set to Opeth track, "I feel the dark":

 

And a couple other things, while we're feeling grim and frostbitten (and, perhaps, anticipating frost, permafrost and the other colder modes of water, to be in significant decline).

2. A compelling op-ed by (former?) Republican meteorologist Paul Douglas describing his "climate change epiphany."

These are the Dog Days of March. . . The scope, intensity and duration of this early heat wave are historic and unprecedented. And yes, climate change is probably a contributing factor. "Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get." 129,404 weather records in one year, nationwide? You can't point to any one weather extreme and say "that's climate change". But a warmer, wetter atmosphere loads the dice, increasing the potential for historic spikes in temperature and more frequent and bizarre weather extremes. You can't prove that any one of Barry Bond's 762 home runs was sparked by (alleged) steroid use. But it did increase his "base state", raising the overall odds of hitting a home run. A warmer atmosphere holds more water vapor, more fuel for floods, while increased evaporation pushes other regions into drought.
3. From UCSD's "Do The Math": Exponential Economist Meets Finite Physicist, portrays a dialogue on economic growth (and energy), perhaps revealing several economic articles of faith withering under well-elucidated laws of physics, as recounted by the prevailing physicist.

So I can twist my head into thinking of quality of life development in an otherwise steady-state as being a form of indefinite growth. But it’s not your father’s growth. It’s not growing GDP, growing energy use, interest on bank accounts, loans, fractional reserve money, investment. It’s a whole different ballgame, folks. Of that, I am convinced. Big changes await us. An unrecognizable economy. The main lesson for me is that growth is not a “good quantum number,” as physicists will say: it’s not an invariant of our world. Cling to it at your own peril.
4. Finally, hone your discourse and disputation with this handy guide to logical fallacies.

20120318

the bottle

See that tote bag over there by the chair?
You know it used to be a bottle.

And see that big sack fully packed with bric-a-brac,
sure 'nuff used to be a bottle.

And don't you think that it's fine
that time after time we're reusing the bottle?

Do you see that fleece hat on that hip cat?
That too used to be a bottle.

Much more than an idle rumor, if its post-consumer
probably used to be a bottle.

If you please, avoid bag fees with one of these
that used to be a bottle.

And don't you think that it's fine,
and well past time for reusing bottles.

Don't you think it's 'bout time,
that we finally tried recycling all the bottles.

(With apologies to Mr. Scott-Heron, whose original song* was quite a bit more serious than this.)