'twas nigh unto midsummer, and XMAS SUX volume IX
was just about the furthest thing from my mind
('tho' i do keep a list as i listen all year
to consult as XMAS-SUX-mixing season draws near),
when there arose unexpectedly a dreaded circumstance
i eventually noticed due to the silence of the fans.
no fans, no blinkenlights, no files, stunning:
the RAID had turned off when it ought to be running!
i pressed the button and waited, reconnected the plug,
sprang to the netgear user forums with a bit of a shrug
where i described the issue and scanned through the posts
'til i found something close and tried what was proposed;
tried over and over, all apparently in vain:
yet 'twas running just fine when i came home the next day!?
i browsed more in the forum, used software to scry,
found no sure diagnosis, detected nothing awry.
i turned it off and back on, moved some files around;
it worked several days more before it went down.
then i repeated the foregoing, vacuumed the case,
tried some percussive maintenance: each effort a waste.
what's all this to me, why do i give a damn
about your problems with some computer acronym?
you may ask, having parsed all the torturous meter
dear reader, o'er line after line only to see there's
so far left to go. it's because you've been picked
(or shoulda or woulda been) to get an XMAS SUX disk
and, so, now may harbor some slight expectation
as to your part in my ghoulish yule observation.
your role here is vital: to receive and listen loud!
but all there are to hear, these past editions on the cloud:
now, "xmas sux"! [2006]
now, "christmas is capitulation"! [2007]
now, "hang a red star on that tree"! [2008]
now, "untitled"! [2009]
on, "i want my tuppence back"! [2011]
on, "oh come on, ye faithful"! [2013]
on, "gold frankenstein smurph"! [2012]
on, "tender and biled"! [2010]
alas, 'tis my duty to report with disappointment sincere
there will be no new edition of XMAS SUX this year.
that Redundant Array of Inexpensive Disks
is where the bulk of my data exists:
an immense amount of data encoded as .mp3s
meta-reified as my vast eclectic music library,
with other vital classes of data, magnetically arrayed
'cross all the platters of my erstwhile terabyte RAID.
as far as i know the files and songs remain sound,
and my technical expert has since come around;
his prognosis is that it ought to work just fine
once i buy and replace the unit's power supply
(the electronics required imply a steep learning curve,
an ascent i'll attempt when i've got the time and the nerve).
'tis (kinda low) on my list of things to do,
but this is also to say that, if that be true,
then XMAS SUX vol. IX might suffer only delay:
it could be an XMAS SUX st. patrick's day!
either way, i wish you a pleasant december,
joy when you can find it, and goodwill wherever.
and, finally, here, ere i run out of lines
great "bah, humbug!" to each, and, to all . . . better rhymes.
