seven ways of looking at a [redacted]

much of what i know
about how little i know
i learned in his sphere

cut class to play chess
where's the black queen? if it was
up your butt you'd know

those authorities --
did you whip an egg at 'em?
whatever. later.

i have never seen
anyone pass out with his
eyes open but [him]

and, need i mention
the absurdly tumescent
half-ounce-a-pop joints?

and all the music
genre-bending bric-a-brac
and stinky, the cat!*

what the fuck is that!?!
strong walls make better housemates
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?!

sitrep: fluctuation in the heatwave

it has been a bit hot round these parts lately to run the computer in the very hot apartment with any sense of comfort or confidence that the machine would survive.

today there is a bit of a break, not an actual deep, cool and relaxing "trough" so much as a little fluctuation in the heatwave, with the promise of more grueling "peak" to again ensue.

it's time now

TED again! This time, bioethicist Paul Root Wolpe says it is time to question bioengineering, with which I would quibble only so far as to point out that the statement "it is time" uttered at a particular moment in time strongly implies that the proposed behavior would not have been appropriate, yet, at any time earlier than the moment of utterance.

He gives a powerful presentation, and asks a litany of good questions which deserve attention, but it is long past time for the proposed questions: we already are a callous mash-up of industrial postmarket experiments, America the Risk Factory.

That said, look upon these works, ye mighty, and tremble!

mattyP

mattyP, whose weekly mailing i read and sometimes try to wryly respond sometimes tells me i ought to have a blog. it's easy! so here's one of those thing i wrote, eliciting such a suggestion. mattyP'd told a story of the case of some litigants living in a nursing home which started because it was alleged that, upon their first meeting, the party of the second part caused her cat to urinate on the party of the first part, my friend's client. Other events ensued, so to speak, involving harassment and threats of violence, in which, as i have been given to understand, my friend's client prevailed and was exonerated at law. i was suspicious because, having some exposure to cats, i have noted in them no capacity for taking direction:

I could never get a cat to piss on the shoes of my enemies. Oh, sure, if my enemy were camping at my place for some time and left his shoes casually about and then, independently, did something or other to earn that cat's enmity, too, then, maybe, my cat would piss on my enemy's shoes. Or if my enemy's shoe were filled with soil and there were a precious, precocious little seedling sprouting from that dirt in the first fulsome blush of promised lush verdancy, among the flowerpots of plants larger and more able to absorb the ammoniac flood, then, my cat might piss in that shoe, although, then, not out of enmity toward my enemy at all, but out, instead, of typical raw feral feline enmity to small fragile shoots and fronds.

cats i have known

Cuddles came out of the woods and adopted us.

Cuddles left us when the abhorrent encroachment on her heartshare that was Callie (actually more of a tortiseshell than a calico) had half-siamese kittens and we kept Panther.

Cuddles moved in with a family down the street and was eventually killed by a car.

Callie and Panther did not cuddle like Cuddles, nor were they so badass.

a dubious tale

cassandra.
she was my cat who barked.
she was always nagging me to bark too. saying

Put down that computer, step away from the piano,
do not pursue another lover don’t you know i’m
your most significant other, brother.
Get barking cause you see and you gotta say,
and enough smoke kiss its way
to your burning lips to light your oratory to glory.
Get barking baby. Hurry.

of course i didn’t understand
that until a lot later, after she had gone
the way of silence. not understanding,
i didn’t believe her.
Cassandra,
how could i?

jealousy of the poet

The girlfriend is jealous of the cat
whom I get out of bed to feed and
will let sit in my lap gladly
despite her nagging.

The cat is jealous of the girlfriend who
seems to get scratched and petted with
a good deal more fervor, exclusively, but
she’s a warm lap or lump to purr against anyway.

Both girlfriend and cat are jealous
of computer and piano and guitar –

punctur'd

The Contract Gambit remains unresolved ~ but some progress has been made. On Monday I talked to Mr. Kwon - telling him effectively the same thing that I told Mr. Kim. He said that he didn't think it inappropriate for me to speak directly to Mr. Im. So that became my plan. On Tuesday we got a new math teacher at Olympiad. I don't know whether he was the only reason, but Mr. Im was at my school all day. Before class I asked him if he was free that evening so that Link and I could talk to him. I got sort of a vague reply. But after work he came by while only Duke and I were home. His stay was brief: he seems always to receive an "emergency" phone call about five minutes after he has arrived. Anyway - he was here long enough to tell me that Link and I would receive our insurance cards next month (when I asked when he said I should ask Mrs. Han). It was brief and vague, but it seemed that we'll at least receive insurance... Then the conversation turned to Duke. Unfortunately, nothing came of it, for as soon as the conversation turned the phone call came. Link and I still expect to talk with him about a few other issues. We shall see. We shall see.

Um. I got some bad news. I called home on Sat. to tell Mom and Dad about my negotiations. They were not surprised. But they gave me bad news: Psilopsybone has been missing for three weeks. I don't know really how to react to the news. It is unconfrontable. I've had two recurring thoughts about it: 1) that it was about this time two years ago that Nastia ran away; and 2) that he is perhaps trying to get to Oberlin.

Yesterday [redacted] and [redacted] called me from London. I talked to [redacted] for a very short time (the call was on [redacted]), and [redacted] for somewhat longer. It was good to hear both of them: I thought that they'd call me. I'm glad that they did.

Finally - today I started acupuncture. Link and I left early in the morning to meet Sam (Link's Korean friend), who took us to an acupuncture clinic run by the son of a friend of his. I did my best to explain my migraines to him. I'm fairly sure that my explanation was not clear. Anyway, the doctor took my pulse (and felt the energy in my wrists), took my blood pressure, asked my about my diet and sleep habits. Then he set to puncturing me. He put three needles in my left ear (they stay until next week, when the same thing will be done to the other ear). Then we went to a little room (like the rooms where you lie under the heat lamp at the chiropractor), where he got out more needles: one in the top of my head, one in each temple, and one on each side of the back of my neck (you know, the soft place where you massage). Oh yeah, he also put one in each hand - in the headache nerve. These all stayed for five minutes, then they were taken out. And we left. I have to go back every week for an indeterminate length of time. But if it gets rid of my migraines, it will be well worth it. And, because Sam took us there, the treatment is free ~ Sam says that when its over I should give him a gift. That seems the least I could do. Anyway, that's all for now.

carnal music

i crawl around you sniffing
you lying there languid
breathing of your impassive vapors

i taste parts of you i put
my scent upon parts of you
i rub my naked cheek against your skin

and you take it make no sound
no fever nor fervent breath
content to rest reposed tolerant

it makes me want to mark you:
to swing with you off balance and
finally hold you ‘whelmed moving in my arms

~ ~ ~

i want to caress you in
slow smooth bluesy effusions
to lull you in your loneliness

i want to animate you with
fast fat brassy blasts
and swing you in my arms

i want to trill you through
swiftly shifting rhythms &
tap out your golden tempo

i want to love you in
whole bold glowing tones
as we dissolve into song