finally convinced, on the one hand mom & pop, and on the other hand,
little oomph & mother, to stop visiting each other. kinda
heartbreaking, but hopefully not as heartbreaking as otherwise it could
be. i think what moved mom -- apart from her new habit of hatewatching
the president's autos-da-nascent-fascism and obsessively tracking a
handful of (mostly local) case-tracking websites -- was when i told her
"if you're having baby and mama visit i'm coming over too, so that
little oomph doesn't have to grow up feeling solely responsible for your
death." i know: a bit harsh; it followed a lot of other attempts at
persuasion and then a decision to stop arguing. not certain what little oomph's mother has been thinking, beyond that she's better at hygiene
than everybody else (she's not wrong to think so!), but she acquiesced without resistance.
it is tough: pop has dementia at just about the point where he's
sometimes almost too much for mom to handle (though he remains
remarkably serene about it) and mom loves nothing more than time with
her grandchildren, while little oomph loves the visits and the doting
love of both. have really been valuing their time together while pop is
still more lucid (for
very-confused-and-wanting-to-go-home-although-already-there values of
lucid) than not: he knows his grandchild, and usually his son. also
mom's not as naturally talented at social distancing as i am, and chafes
at isolation. thought little oomph would weep to learn visits with
grandparents are on indefinite hiatus, but little oomph took it in
stride, very interested just now in infectious disease and being safe.
(pop was a great depression baby, and has been marked by admirable if
sometimes frustrating frugality throughout his life in common with many
of his generation; not sure what this is likely to foster in little oomph). we all hopefully agreed to revisit the arrangement in two weeks.
i'm still visiting with little oomph & mother regularly, but will
isolate from them should the occasion arise that my parents require
in-person support i'm able to provide. ... though, come to think of it,
that would probably defeat some of the purpose.
today little oomph managed to ride unsupported on their bicycle for the
first time ever (and several other spans of several seconds up to about a
max of thirty) before being grabbed in the process of ... no longer
successfully balancing. i was the only one there. it was exhausting to
run alongside & exhilarating.
just drove home: the roads were almost empty. also the first time on the
roads in maybe two weeks that i haven't felt (more) endangered (than
usual) by several other drivers, i guess trying to lock in that hospital
bed (for themselves and me) while supplies last.