Dear Norm.
Here is something suspicious:
There aren't enough bullets.
Our new technology can fire
1.8 billion rounds per year
and bullet consumption has
consequently ramped up 146
percent since those guys with
no guns knocked our towers down.
Why does it take so many bullets
to fight suicide bombers?
Luckily there are enough "smart
munitions" to blow them up at
or within 50 meters of where
they keep breeding, half the time,
and poison them in the womb
with the dust of liberty.
Or are there? My stock reports
have not been entirely clear
in the numbers, and with the
theater broadened to include
all dark-skinned people with
clothes, those numbers grow.
(I heard some guys speaking
Portuguese just today
on the street, some wearing
raincoats, others with umbrellas,
who may or may not have planned
to jump a turnstile or jaywalk;
could'a capped 'em too,
but i wasn't strapped.)
Islam is the world's fastest
growing religion despite
the perfusion of martyrs. At
400 rounds per minute from 1866
Doctor Gatling's instrument bored
through -- poured lead through --
the remaining shreds of
militant indigenous Americans,
halved and quartered and decimated
by disease centuries before,
and stalked out heavy over
Africa, Asia and the rest
of the West. The colonists'
burdensome slugs and
10-pipe fasces relieved upon
the bodies of the fecund poor.
There are not enough bullets
but uranium waste remains, eh,
Norm? 1.8 billion rounds is
enough to shoot each American
six times -- or for each
American to shoot six rounds
as though each of US clutched
an old time Colt Peacemaker at
high noon outside the saloon
on the main street of Tikrit,
beyond the green zone -- or
for perspective, for each
alleged terrorist trained in
the mastermind's camp
to be shot eighteen thousand
times each year. Instead,
the Lancet reports 100,000
collateral civilian dead.
It is eight-and-a-half Gatling
guns firing year-round.
It is unfashionable to invoke
the Reich, but calculating aim
they knew they could not afford
the bullets either. In four years
one American bullet will
have been fired for each human.
Norm, what's the rate on armed
belligerents lawfully shot?
How does the terrorist hit rate
and supply line compare to ours?
Suspicious minds want to know.
Also, should we carry our guns?
[as it turns out, the answer seems to be "yes" - ed.]