I frame my life in coffeespoons and technology interactions, in habits and addictions, I frame my full potentialities for being; my potentiality for being is framed, my me defined conveniently right here right now in my habituated postures, regular activities and addictions.
Each morning I wake. Slowly. Eventually I manage to haul my own sorry ass out of bed. Then, once I've peed and if I don't immediately climb back into bed, I reach for a cup of coffee and a cigarette, or just the cigarette provided I can expect to acquire coffee within an hour or so. Junkie. On normal "school days," I suck a cigarette or two on the way to work, stave down whatever normal impulses of hunger and appropriate bodily function that might still linger about.
I am smoker, I am commuter, I am public radio listener, I am entitled driver of psyche-car pissed off at some other entitled psycho-driver. OK. I suck down cigarettes. I . . . [illegible text] . . . that on the way home.
Get to work, boot workstation (if it's not on - I usually turn it off over weekends but not each night 'cause it takes so damn long to boot and load and logon and finish booting; bad excuse I know) or just launch critical programs: browser, word and e-mail before heading for coffee. Black coffee ( - so, ok then, no actual spoons). First cup without a cigarette over the inbox. Usually within about an hour its time for a cigarette break. Bad policy, lazy and obstructive. Often this is taken working and alone, sometimes with coworkers in idle talk, with another coffee, thanks.
Technology interactions thus far: alarm clock, [plumbing], my car and others', stoplight and road surveillance systems, radio, magnetic key card, computer, coffee maker, computer, the Internet, perhaps telephone. The computer comprises many technology interactions, but the predominant one is waiting, followed closely by reading and then by point/clicking and typing.
I used to think that we were creatures spun of the matrix of belief and desire, but now find fear and habit. Maybe they're analogous. Habit:fear::belief:desire, or fear:habit::belief:desire.
I don't think, when my parents told me as a child I wasn't living up to my full potential, that they meant that I wasn't buying enough . . .