his crimes aren't so bad.
and he hardly did 'em.
and other people do 'em unpunished too.
and you'd never have noticed but for that other thing.
and you didn't charge any crimes for that other thing (proving his innocence of crimes involving that other thing)
so it's hardly even fair to punish him for crimes he did do.
and they're hardly crimes.
and he has pleaded guilty and it was accidental. and he has taken full responsibility.
but for the crimes he's a good guy: 13 pages of hagiography and he's old.
prison's tough on the elderly.
and gout.
and his reputation has been damaged.
and his money-laundering business has suffered.
and anyway he hardly did those technical crimes which aren't so bad anyway.
and he cooperated but for a couple lies and has taken full responsibility for these hardly-crimes.
and the lies only represent fleeting moments of 12 otherwise unabated hours of truthfulness.
there are some guidelines.
they don't help us unless you appreciate how these gossamer crimes evaporate when you look hard at 'em.
the other guys say he hasn't taken responsibility but that isn't fair.
and he shouldn't have to take responsibility.
and he has anyway, all the responsibility for those inadvertent technical hardly-crimes.
so you should go easy on him.
and he'll be punished for those other related crimes in that other jurisdiction, so.
hasn't he been punished enough already?
here follow 30 pages of testimonials from people who think poor ol p.j. is a good guy who likes beer.
memo.