20051114

metrosigns make suspicious unusually clear



The ter'st attacks of July may be the best
thing to happen in terms of prompting the powers that be
to communicate to the suspicious citizenry
what they have meant all this time by "suspicious."

the metro now has signs with the slogan
"Don't Fear Ter'rism, Fight Ter'rism"
(“fear not fearmaking, make fearmaking fear,” eliding that
flight and fight are both fear’s children)
and a list of indicia and instructions:

You, commuter (hypocrite viewer voter, mon frère!), now should
be aware of any suspicious person or persons or unusual activity.

For example, a person sweating, carrying a spray bottle or aerosol or
wearing inappropriate clothes such as an unusually baggy jacket, and
also including unattended bags, boxes, packages & backpacks & smoke
or odd smells (although unattended parcels and odors
are neither persons nor activities). If you witness these, act.

If you observe some suspicious baggy person
sweating quietly away from his portmanteau or valise
(or cooler or crate or five gallon drum) —
in fact if you see anyone,
no matter how smooth-complected and well dressed,
in the act of abandoning baggage — well,

Say, excuse me (sir, or madame),
kindly attend your suspicious cargo!
if they're foreign and sweaty
the mob will back you up for sure.
(and everything will be okay)

Or if you see suspicious activity,
viz., any activity of baggy nervous persons, or
other persons sweating and acting suspiciously,
or find a previously unattended package (
Emergency services. State the nature of the emergency.

: I found a package.

Is the package unattended, sir?

:No, I'm here with it, now.

Okay, Bye.
) or witness anything unusual, use the intercom at either end
of the car, and on specially marked pylons, to inform the
train operator or station manager.
(and everything will be okay)

and if you witness any emergency and you have a cell phone,

You, citizen (commuter consumer, mon semblable!),
must immediately contact and inform the metro police.
("emergency" is not defined)
(and everything will be fine)

the metro signs do not say,
but it stands to reason that, furthermore,
fingerprints other than your own in your anthrax cultures, or,
if you are not licensed for private cultivation of weaponized spoorage,
also your own, are suspicious, as is
any stranger flying off in your crop duster or any French person
however he may comport himself with respect to his containers.

the signs don't have to say this.
we all know it intrinsically by virtue of being American.